Wait for Me

I know that I haven’t written in way too long, but here’s a little update on my life and a little encouragement for yours: 

Most of you know that this is my first semester at a new college, which just so happens to be Christian college. This has been a whole new experience for me. I’ve grown up as a preacher’s daughter so I’ve pretty much grown up in and around church but these past couple of months have brought me to a brand new level of my walk with God. There is something about submerging yourself in studying the Bible and the effect it has on your life. 

Before I started at BCF, I was really struggling with the fact that I’m single with really no prospects. Talking to other Christian girls, I knew I wasn’t alone in this and I even knew that God should be enough. I even wrote a blog on it a few months ago. That doesn’t change the fact that there was a real struggle in my heart over it. Knowing that you have a personal struggle and accepting that truth doesn’t make the struggle go away. In fact, sometimes it makes it worse because you know that you are struggling with something when God should be the answer for you. It is something that I have spent many nights praying for the lonely feeling to go away. Much to my dismay, it didn’t. I knew that love is patient, I knew that God is enough, but that knowledge doesn’t make it any easier to be the 3^rd wheel. 

In the past couple of months, I have really been thrown into a constant state of studying God’s word and reading books written by amazingly gifted people. You know what I discovered? When I throw myself into really immersing myself in Him, I don’t have time to worry about not having a guy. Yes, there are still those Single Awareness Moments, but now I don’t dwell on them. Moments that once would have left me feeling depressed, now I smile about out of joy for the other people. I know that God has someone great in store for me, and if I trust in Him and His plan instead of my own, It will be greatly worth the wait. 

Your Fellow Water Walker,

-Ashlee

p.s. Here’s the song that was running through my head the whole time I was writing this blog: Rebecca St. James’ “Wait for Me” 

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To the Ends of the Earth

Today I will be getting on a plane and flying to Lima, Peru. By Sunday afternoon I will be in a little mountain town on my first international mission trip. This is only my second mission trip ever so it's kinda crazy to think that I'm going to another country. This blog post will be really short since I'm at by brother's house surrounded by little kids, but I wanted to come on here and post asking that whoever is reading this will be in constant prayer for our mission team. The seven of us that will be going will greatly appreciate it. Especially as we go through those switchback roads through the mountains.

I'll post longer when I get back about the trip and will hopefully get some pics up.

Much love and many prayers,
Your Fellow Water Walker,
-Ashlee

Testimony

Hey guys! I know it's been quite a while, but things have been kinda crazy here. I leave on my first international mission trip next week and start school the next week. With all the planning that has been going on, I can't help but think about everything that has happened in my life. I am a firm believer that where we come from helps shape us into what we are. God uses situations in our lives to teach us and mold us.
Now, part of preparing for a mission trip is knowing your testimony really well so that you can tell it to whomever you meet. I decided that I would take this opportunity to share mine with all of you.

So here goes...

My parents got divorced just after I started kindergarten and were both remarried within a year. I went from being the oldest child to having 3 older brothers within a couple of months. My family grew to a massive number counting all the step-relatives. My parents had joint custody of my sister and I, so we spent most of our lives growing up bouncing back and forth between our two houses. Growing up, my sister was pretty much the only physical constant in my life.

My dad became a pastor around the same time as my parents divorce and as a result I've pretty much been raised in church. I accepted Christ at the age of seven, and despite coming from a broken home, my faith pretty much went untested until I was 13. That was when I learned what it felt like to be the victim for the first time in my life. Someone I trusted very much, chose to objectify me and put me in a position where I had to defend myself against family. I was lucky though. I was able to stop the situation before it became something much more extreme and was able to remove myself from the situation quickly. However, it did require me to talk to the police about what had happened and most of that side of my family did not believe my story. Some of them still don't. I lost a good chunk of my family as a result of that event and as a further result, I developed a lot of trust issues. I began to think that whoever was around at the time would eventually turn their back on me, an issue that has stayed with me through the years.

Since then, I have graduated high school and moved away to college for 2 years and moved back home to transfer schools. Also since then, I developed more trust issues and moved out of my mom's house after years of having my physical appearance critiqued and my faith demeaned. During my first year of college, I went into a depression where I would only leave my dorm room to go to class and most of the time I spent in my room I was in bed. I had friends, but I barely hung out with them. The turning point in my depression was when I went to a christian women's conference called E-Women. God met me there and pulled me out of my rut and back to him. I finally saw that He hadn't pulled away from me, I had run from Him. Yes, I could talk a good talk, and as a result few people really knew what was going on in my head, but I didn't really believe what I was saying. Not completely. At that women's conference, I was captured by God once again and started living for him. It was shortly thereafter that I found the strength and courage to finally walk away from the harmful relationships that I was taking part in, both with family and my then boyfriend. a few months later I started this blog. In the past year I have met more friends that build me up and have continued weeding out the relationships that were pulling me away from God. I have also taken a leap of faith and quit following my own path for college and started following His path for my life. I will start classes this fall for a degree in Christian Counseling. I still don't know what God has in store for me, but I know that what I have gone through in my life will be used to help others.

That's why I started this blog. I wish I was reading something like this when I was depressed and feeling like I was the only person going through what I was going through. If one person reads this and says "hey, I'm not alone and I can make it through too." then my prayer has been answered.

Until next time,
Your Fellow Water Walker,
-Ashlee

Knitted Together By God

I want you to do something. Hold your hands out in front of you. Now look at them. Not a "hey, my hands are still there" kind of look but really look. Study them. See all the lines that are etched into your palms? See how you can move your fingers with barely a thought? See how they work to grab, hold on, to comfort?  Have you ever thought about how much effort must have been put into the creation of your hands?

Now think about the rest of your body. I can't even draw a proportional stick figure, but somehow God designed us from our nervous system to our hair texture. That has always been the thing about God that mesmerized me the most. This supreme being that put the entire universe together had the patience to design with great care my inmost being. Psalm 139 says that God knitted us together in our mother's womb. While the picture of God sitting up in heaven knitting makes me giggle a little (you know it's a cute picture) the picture is quite fitting. Knitting is meticulous. It takes a lot of time to create something of substance. and turning a ball of yarn into something useful is no easy feat. Just think, God does that but by turning a collection of cells into human beings. There's a reason it's called "the miracle of birth."

The comfort in all of this is the simple fact that someone who put that much effort into creating someone isn't going to just abandon it later on. Think of an artist. The more time they spend on a work of art, the prouder they are of it. Their masterpiece is going to be protected during every step. God is the same way with us. Each and every one of us is His masterpieces. He spent so much time and effort carefully designing us before we were even known about here on earth. Now he puts his arms of protection around us and guides us through life.

We are His and that is simply amazing.

Your Fellow Water Walker,
Ashlee

Learning from Jonah

Here lately I have really been doing a lot of soul searching and trying to figure out where God is leading me next. Needless to say I've been reading a lot of devotionals and scripture. One of the biblical stories that has really captured me in the past few weeks has been the story of Jonah.

Being a pastor's daughter, I have grown up knowing the story of Jonah. You know... man runs from god, gets tossed overboard and swallowed by a giant fish, three days later is spit out and goes on to bring God's message to Nineveh like he was originally called to. But what I had never even read before was what Jonah's turning point was.

The book of Jonah is only 4 chapters long, and right there in the middle, you find Jonah's prayer in chapter 2. I believe that the biggest lesson can be learned from seeing how Jonah got back on track with God.

Jonah had made the ultimate mistake of believing that he knew better than God what was best for his life. Let's be real clear about this: God always knows best. It may make absolutely no sense to you, but if God is calling you to it, you better go. Jonah didn't listen and he ended up in the belly of a giant fish. After being thrown overboard. After be caught in a massive storm. Sounds fun, right? I didn't think so either.

So how did Jonah turn it around and get back on track? Well while he was at his lowest point, after all, he was in the belly of a fish, Jonah called out to God with a chapter long prayer. With a prayer of submission and praise, Jonah submitted his life to God and allowed himself to become the prophet that God had called him to be.

Only when we submit to God's will in our lives are we able to truly become what God has called us to be.

I have included Jonah's prayer below. I pray that you will find God's calling in your life and will submit yourselves to it and I ask that you will pray the same for me. God has great things planned for us. We just have to be willing to reach for them.

Your Fellow Water Walker,
Ashlee

Jonah 2:

Jonah's Prayer

 ¹ Jonah prayed to the LORD his God from inside the fish:     ² I called to the LORD in my distress,
    and He answered me.
    I cried out for help in the belly of Sheol;
    You heard my voice. 
    ³ You threw me into the depths,
    into the heart of the seas,
    and the current  overcame me.
    All Your breakers and Your billows swept over me.
    ⁴ But I said: I have been banished
    from Your sight,
    yet I will look once more
    toward Your holy temple.
    ⁵ The waters engulfed me up to the neck;
    the watery depths overcame me;
    seaweed was wrapped around my head.
    ⁶ I sank to the foundations of the mountains;
    the earth with its prison bars closed behind me forever!
    But You raised my life  from the Pit, LORD my God!
    ⁷ As my life was fading away,
    I remembered the LORD.
    My prayer came to You,
    to Your holy temple.
    ⁸ Those who cling to worthless idols
    forsake faithful love,
    ⁹ but as for me, I will sacrifice to You
    with a voice of thanksgiving.
    I will fulfill  what I have vowed.
    Salvation  is from the LORD!
    ¹⁰ Then the LORD commanded the fish, and it vomited Jonah onto dry land.

You Are Beautiful

I have to admit, some days I don’t feel beautiful. And if I am really honest with myself, those some days are really most days. I have struggled most of my life with a dislike of my body, and by the sheer number of celebrities stepping into the public eye and saying that they struggled with eating disorders and self-esteem issues, I know that I am not alone.

Most mornings I wake up and don’t want to do anything. I don’t wear makeup and I hate having to spend a long time getting ready. There are mornings when I don’t have to leave the house that I am perfectly okay with just staying in pajamas all day. Ponytails are my thing. I tell people most of the time that I am just a low maintenance kind of girl, which is true, but a lot of mornings, it is also true that I just don’t feel like it’s worth it to get all dolled up.

I have always been a heavier set girl. I tend to be the biggest one in my group of friends. As a result, most times I don’t get the attention, and when I do, it’s not from guys that I would give the time of day to.

I know that that sounds like I am putting myself down, but I am truly just trying to be honest.

I wouldn’t trade most of my friends for the world. They are some really great people, and the ones that I am really close to also share my faith. However, there are days when I just really don’t want to be around any of them because we can eat the same things, I will gain a pound, they will lose 2, and I am left trying to figure out just how that is possible.

It wasn’t till recently that I started to believe that who I am is who God made me and that automatically makes me beautiful.

Jeremiah 1:5a says “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.”

Now I have a god baby in the works right now and it is absolutely amazing to think about God sitting there in heaven deciding just what that baby will look like. He is deciding its eye color and hair texture and ,yes, even its body shape. And everything He is doing for that baby, He did for me and you. We were designed by the same person that drew a lion out of the stars. We were designed by the same person who created the Grand Canyon and the Sahara and the Everglades and the Amazon. The same person that can give gnat all the parts it needs to function and can create whales big enough to swallow people whole took the time to design each of us perfectly.

I may still have low self-esteem on most days but it is something about me that is improving, and a big part of that is me coming to terms with the fact that I was designed by an awesome God and He thinks I am beautiful, therefore, I should believe it too. 

Your Fellow Water Walker, 

Ashlee

Failure May Not Be Fun, But It Can Be Helpful.

Failure. 

It’s not a fun word is it? But sometimes we have to deal with that word. Everyone from the begger on the street corner to Donald Trump has to deal with failure. In the past couple of weeks I have had to deal with that word much more than I ever wanted to. 

If you are like me, you hate to admit your failure. Stumbling is somehow more acceptable to us. That means that we just tripped on the sidewalk. Failure means we fell flat on our faces, onstage, with everyone we know and love watching. Stumbling might earn a giggle from passer-bys and maybe even a semi-funny story to be shared at family dinners. Failure, however, is often swept under the rug with the hope that we will never have to look at it again. Everyone knows this, even if they don’t admit it. We have a major problem with admitting our failures. But why?

Why do we run in fear from our failure? You see countless posts on facebook and twitter about how failing teaches us life’s lessons and how mistakes make us wiser. What we don’t accept though is how true it is. Sure, we put on the face like “yes, this is true” and we even will say the words aloud, but we don’t accept it mentally or emotionally. If we did, it would not be nearly as easy to beat ourselves up about every little stumble, mistake, and failure over and over again until we can barely drag ourselves out of bed because we don’t feel like we can do anything right. It is time for us to start really realizing that failure isn’t the end of the road. Failure doesn’t mean that we can’t come back from the low point where we are. Failure simply means that we have more growing to do.

We might have messed up in the past, and we might even be at the lowest points of our lives. We might have let down every person that has ever put their faith in you. But that doesn’t mean that we can’t fix things. If our heart is still beating and our lungs are still breathing, we still have time to work and work and reach our highs again.

2 Corinthians 16-18 says

 “Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.”

See? Even the Bible says that our troubles are momentary and that there is an eternal glory that far outweighs every bad thing that can ever happen to us in this lifetime. The One who created us is waiting for us to realize that he is bigger than our troubles.

I’m not saying that we should just accept our failures. We all know that we would never grow if we accepted our failures as the” be all end all” in our life. I am saying, however, that we should take our failures for what they are: opportunities to grow in ways that were not present before. Only by really learning from our mistakes and growing through our failures can we become the people that God has laid out for us.

Now, so that I can send you off with an awesome song in your head, I have included my favorite singer’s newest single, which just so happens to have an amazing message that goes perfectly with the meaning of this blog post.

Keep your head up guys. Trust me, “the pain ain’t gonna last forever, it’s time it’s gonna get better, believe me, this is gonna make you stronger.”

Your fellow Water Walker,

Ashlee. 

Strength of my Heart

Wednesday night, I sat with two of my closest friends, glued to The Weather Channel and our computers trying to find out as much information as possible as one of the most dangerous storms in recent history ripped through the hometowns of countless friends, including one of the ones watching with us. We watched video after video level entire buildings to the ground and erase entire towns almost completely off the map. At one point, my friend Jasmine even watched as a tornado went by the apartment complex where her little sister lives. We hung on every text message hoping that our friends who had taken up residence in closets and basements were okay. I had one friend in Tuscaloosa and one in Dora, with the later checking in every five minutes so i knew she was still located IN the basement. Let me just tell you, this Florida girl is MUCH more okay with hurricanes than tornadoes.

In the next several weeks and even months the towns that were hit by these tornadoes will be slowly putting their lives back together. It will be a long journey but I can guarantee you this: God will be there caring for his creation. We are assured that God cares for even the smallest of sparrows and even more so for us. Isn't that an amazingly comforting thought when we know how His people are hurting? 

To all those affected by the storms, know that I am praying for you. God will be all you need in these desperate times and for the rest of your lives. He is our portion. When everything else is hurting or failing us, His love will carry us through.

"My flesh and my heart may fail but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." -Psalm 73:26

To the rest of you, I pray that you will try to find ways to help our brothers and sisters. Love can move mountains. There's no doubt in my mind that it can heal towns.

Your Fellow Water Walker,
Ashlee 

 

Happy Easter and Thoughts on Prayer

Hello Everyone,
I know that I still have to give you the second half of my E-Women Conference notes, but since it is finals week, my life has been a little crazy lately and I'm writing this on my best friends couch at almost 1AM without my notes so I figured now would be a good time to write what's been playing in my head for a couple weeks now
 
But before I launch in to the main topic, left me first say Happy Easter. Isn't it a blessing that we can celebrate His Resurrection? And more than that, Isn't the Resurrection just a breathtaking miracle in and of itself?

I am finishing up a speech class tomorrow, and during the semester I have heard some very interesting speeches. One of these speeches was a comparison on Pagan and Christian holidays. During this girl's speech she mentioned spells saying that they were attempts to manipulate the energy and world around you by the things you say, like prayer for a Christian. This, of course, didn't sit well with me. Is this really what the rest of the world thinks about prayer? Then I remembered that the girl had said that she was raised in the church and met a pagan friend in high school who taught her about the pagan holidays. Do the very people in the church know so little about prayer that their children will think that a prayer is simply our version of casting spells? Is that how much understanding we have of our faith?

So what is prayer?


According to dictionary.com:

prayer   /prɛər/ Show Spelled

–noun

1.

a devout petition to god or an object of worship.

2.

a spiritual communion with God or an object of worship, as in supplication, thanksgiving, adoration, or confession.

 

By it's very definition, Prayer is a petition, a communion. An

interchange or sharing of thoughts or emotions; intimate communication

Prayer is not a human attempt at manipulation of the physical world. Prayer is a conversation with the Maker, asking for guidance or offering thanksgiving or praise or confessing your sins. Even when we are wanting to change the outcome of our circumstances, prayer should be us asking God what his will is and requesting that He show us the way.  

 

Just think about the Lord's Prayer in Matthew 6:9-13:

⁹ "Therefore, you should pray like this:    Our Father in heaven,
    Your name be honored as holy.
    ¹⁰ Your kingdom come.
    Your will be done
    on earth as it is in heaven.
    ¹¹ Give us today our daily bread.
    ¹² And forgive us our debts,
    as we also have forgiven our debtors.
    ¹³ And do not bring us into  temptation,
    but deliver us from the evil one.
    [For Yours is the kingdom and the power
    and the glory forever. Amen.]

There is a reason why Jesus prayed first to give praise (Vs. 9), then to accept the Father's will (Vs. 10) then to ask for what he needed physically (Vs. 11), then for forgiveness (Vs. 12), then guidance (Vs. 13a) and finally to praise once more. (Vs. 13b).

This is the prayer that Jesus told us to model our own prayers after. Not once does He try to manipulate the world around him. Instead, he accepts the Father's wisdom and guidance and fully submits to His plan. Those who practice spells aren't submitting to God. They are trying to change things on their own accord. And quite frankly, that is the polar opposite of prayer.

Your Fellow Water Walker,
Ashlee

"Be The Sunshine" and Other Life Lessons

This weekend, I had the opportunity to attend one of my favorite events of the year, the E-Women Conference in Pensacola, Florida. At this conference I was able to hear some amazing speakers and see some gifted performers. Angela Thomas, Lysa Terkeurst, Carol Kent, Jennifer Rothschild, and Chonda Pierce all shared their heart-wrenching testimonies and Francesca Battestelli and Michael O'Brien shared their gift of music. during Friday night and during the day Saturday I took 8 pages of notes. This blog is going to be a compilation of verses shared and quotes by the speakers that really touched me. It has been a weekend of laughing, smiling, worshiping, singing at the tops of our lungs with hands lifted high for Jesus, crying on our sister's shoulders, and soaking in the Word. Now it's my turn to share some of that with you.

"I'm weary because my saying yes when I should not will never make up for all the people who say no when they should not." -Angela Thomas facebook friend

"I am weary, God, but I can prevail." -Proverbs 30:1b

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary  and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall;  but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles;  they will run and not grow weary,  they will walk and not be faint." Isaiah 40:28-31

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield." Psalm 33:20

"Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” Mark 6:31


"Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God." Luke 5:25

"The voice spoke to him a second time, “Do not call anything impure that God has made clean.” Acts 10:15


"If I get tired, so what? I  know where to go when I get tired." -Angela Thomas


"Be the sunshine." -Angela Thomas's words of encouragement for her son during a tough soccer game.


"My calling became this, to love my life like Christ loves the church. My gifting is music. My gifting should never take precedence over my calling." -Michael O'Brien


“Anyone who loves their father or mother more than me is not worthy of me; anyone who loves their son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me." Matthew 10:37


This is what the LORD says: “Let not the wise boast of their wisdom or the strong boast of their strength or the rich boast of their riches, but let the one who boasts boast about this: that they have the understanding to know me, that I am the LORD, who exercises kindness, justice and righteousness on earth, for in these I delight,”  declares the LORD.-Jeremiah 9:23-24

"A smart girl doesn't have life all figured out, she just knows who the Source of Life is." -Meghan Clinton

"If you're not willing to ask for help, it means you're not brave." - Jennifer Rothschild

 "You will have hope if you have courage" -Jennifer Rothschild

"Sometimes when we say "I can't", what we're really saying is "I won't"" - Jennifer Rothschild

"Don't be defiante and call it disability" - JR

"Eyes that won't see are far worse than eyes that can't." -JR

"You are not what you think, what you feel, what you struggle with.... you are who God says you are." -JR

"Because he is worthy, you can, and you will, and sisters, you will rise" -JR



Well, guys, It's almost 1:00 AM and we're only half way through all the quotes I wrote down and I have to get up early tomorrow for an hour and a half drive before I get to church, so I'm going to call this a stopping point for now. Tomorrow, I shall put up the rest of the quotes and verses and then over the next week or so, I can almost garuntee that there will be blogs that spin off of the things that were discussed at the conference.

I will leave you with this: Love yourself, love your neighbors, love your enemies, love complete strangers and love those people that you've met once or twice. In essence, love. You're not going to win people to Christ by showing anything less than complete and utter Jesus love.


Your Fellow Water Walker,
Ashlee

Big News and Laundry Dates

Wow, it's been a while since I last posted...

It is 1:35AM and I am sitting on my best friend's couch waiting for  my laundry to dry and watching The Phantom of the Opera for about the millionth time. We were originally watching it because Tyler has never seen it, however, Tyler is also asleep on the other couch. Like seriously asleep. He started purring earlier and I almost died laughing. I love late night Best Friend Movie/Laundry Dates. You never know what is going to happen.

Last Thursday I got some pretty major news that I have been dying to share with all of you and finally got the go ahead today.

I'm going to be a GODMOTHER!

I am so excited! This baby is going to be so spoiled, even when before it gets here in December. My roommate found out that she is pregnant Last Thursday, however, she just went to the doctor this morning and I didn't want to post on here about it until the doctor confirmed.

I also feel like I should address one thing about this pregnancy. My roommate is engaged. Yes, she is in a committed relationship and I applaud her for that. I applaud even more over the fact that she is doing right by her child. Her and her fiance will be married in the beginning of June and are thrilled about this child. She never once thought "This baby is going to ruin my life." I was so proud when she went straight to "okay, I didn't plan this but I can't change that it happened now, I can just change how I react to it." Yes, I believe that sex is a sacred act for husband and wife and that that is how God intended it to be, but who are we to judge that baby for his/her parents decisions? I am proud of my roommate and her fiance for how they are responding to this situation, and I am not exagerating by saying that I am ecstatic about having a little godbaby.

Shortly after my roommate took the initial pregnancy test, she was on the phone with her fiance informing him. When I noticed that she was crying I posted Jeremiah 29:11-13 on her Facebook wall as encouragement. She then wrote verse 11 on our dry erase board and something tells me that it will stay up there until we move out at the end of the semester. That is a huge encouragement to me. I love that when times get tough, we can bond over a scripture. I love that the verse we shared is all about how God has a plan for us. I don't know what the plans are for my roommate, her fiance, or her poppy seed of an unborn child, but I know that he has them. And that is an insane amount of comfort.

I'm going to leave you with those verses and a quote from the twitter of the ministry I worship with Sunday mornings when I'm at school for the weekend.

I love you all and will be constantly praying for all of you.

Your Fellow Water Walker,
Ashlee

"Even though His ways may not be our ways, they are good, faithful, true, and full of hope. That is something solid we can stand on!" -@TroyMomentum

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart."
-Jeremiah 29:11-13

Destroy and Build

"Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, 'I have put my hands in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant.'"
-Jeremiah 1:9-10

I guess you've figured out by now that I am continuing with the book of Jeremiah. Only God knows if I'll keep going with the blogs until the entire book is covered or if I will just keep going for a few more... I'm putting it in His hands. I will say that I am working my way through Jeremiah right now in my daily reading so it's entirely possible that we'll go all the way through together.

The first time I read the two verses above, I got really confused. I've read them about 70 times in the past two days just trying to put them together and make them make sense.

I take great comfort in the first half of this selection. This comes directly after God comforting Jeremiah on the fact that Jeremiah believed himself to be too young to be of service to God, and here God is removing yet another obstacle that was in Jeremiah's way. Jeremiah's worries were that he was too young and that he didn't know how to speak. Well as we saw yesterday, God reassured Jeremiah that He would always be with him and would rescue him. Now God is saying that He has placed His words in Jeremiah's mouth. Jeremiah doesn't have to worry about not knowing how to speak because it wouldn't be him speaking. It would be God. Jeremiah doesn't become a great prophet of the LORD by speaking of his own gifts and knowledge. He doesn't have any. He simply passes along the information that God passes along to His people through Jeremiah. It must have been a huge relief to know that not only were you expected to come up with what to say, but that God would give you the information and help you pass it along.

The second verse I posted above is what gets me every time. "See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant." That is a scary thought. Can you imagine being Jeremiah and hearing God tell you after all the comforting He just did, "oh hey, by the way, I'm putting you in this position so that you can uproot, tear down, destroy and overthrow." Frankly I probably would have felt like crawling in a corner and trying to hide. The more I read this verse though, and the more I think about it, the more it starts to make sense to me. The information that Jeremiah was going to receive was going to have the power to tear down entire kingdoms and destroy nations. But it's not all just a cryptic nightmare. God was also giving Jeremiah to build and plant. And more than that, He put it in the same sentence as the destroying and overthrowing, telling me that these actions will be connected. Jeremiah may be chosen to bring down the bad that is at work around him, but he is also trusted with the task of building and planting God's kingdom. And what an honor that is!

I encourage each and every one of you to really stop and think while you read your bibles. Life comes with an instruction manual. It's called your Bible. Read it, study it, apply it to life.

Your Fellow Water Walker,
-Ashlee

An Unbelievable Kind of Love

I have recently become fascinated with love. Not the romantic kind of love that makes up the inspiration behind every chick flick ever, though I do appreciate that kind of love as well, but the kind of awe-inspiring love that can only be felt when you have a relationship with God.

Everywhere we look we are surrounded by images of "love". The media is so set on convincing us that sex is the main way to know if you are really in love with someone. That the only way you can really know if your love is real is to test it physically. This is not true, guys. Love isn't sex. Sex is a way to express your love at the appropriate time (and by that I mean after marriage). It is time for us to stop buying into the lies that are constantly put out there, and the only way that is really going to happen is if we really start to understand what True Love is. I haven't decided whether my next few blogs will be focusing on the topic of love or the book of Jeremiah, but for now I'm focusing on the Call of Jeremiah, so I can pretty much go either way. Say a prayer that God will show me where to go from here.

The Call of Jeremiah is one of those places in the Bible where you read a section of scripture and just stop to say "Wow. This is amazing."

⁴ The word of the LORD came to me, saying,  ⁵ “Before I formed you in the womb I knew^[a] you,
   before you were born I set you apart;
   I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.”
 ⁶ “Alas, Sovereign LORD,” I said, “I do not know how to speak; I am too young.”
 ⁷ But the LORD said to me, “Do not say, ‘I am too young.’ You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. ⁸ Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you,” declares the LORD.
 -Jeremiah 1:4-8

Isn't it amazing to stop and think about the fact that God knew you before you were born? While you were still forming, God had a plan for you. God knew that Jeremiah was going to be a prophet before Jeremiah even knew what the world outside of his mother's womb looked like. How great are God's plans that he knows that much about us from the very beginning? And even more, when Jeremiah was terrified and insecure, God took the time to comfort him. God could have simply said "I know what's best. Trust me and suck it up." But He didn't. He looked at Jeremiah and told him not to make his age a hindrance, to not be afraid, and that wherever Jeremiah goes and whatever he does, God will be with him and will rescue him in Jeremiah's times of need.

We serve a comforting God. We serve a planning God.  How amazing is that?

Your Fellow Water Walker,
-Ashlee

Psalm 71

Every now and then, I read a passage of scripture and think "this is exactly what I need to get through this week." Here lately these verses have had an overriding theme of REJOICE. Everything from the novels I'm reading to scripture I come across to my devotionals has had something to do with finding joy in life, even when things seem impossible to rejoice over. A few days ago, my best friend shared a verse from Psalm 71. This led me to read the entire psalm and I literally just sat there with my mouth open thinking "this is the definition of rejoice." The psalmist explains just what it means to praise God in all things and rejoice through the bad times. I encourage you to read this psalm and take it to heart. Follow the psalmist's advice and i can garuntee that you will start to notice yourself truly rejoicing in everything you do.

Your Fellow Water Walker,
-Ashlee

Psalm 71

 ¹ In you, LORD, I have taken refuge;
   let me never be put to shame.
² In your righteousness, rescue me and deliver me;
   turn your ear to me and save me.
³ Be my rock of refuge,
   to which I can always go;
give the command to save me,
   for you are my rock and my fortress.
⁴ Deliver me, my God, from the hand of the wicked,
   from the grasp of those who are evil and cruel.  ⁵ For you have been my hope, Sovereign LORD,
   my confidence since my youth.
⁶ From birth I have relied on you;
   you brought me forth from my mother’s womb.
   I will ever praise you.
⁷ I have become a sign to many;
   you are my strong refuge.
⁸ My mouth is filled with your praise,
   declaring your splendor all day long.
 ⁹ Do not cast me away when I am old;
   do not forsake me when my strength is gone.
¹⁰ For my enemies speak against me;
   those who wait to kill me conspire together.
¹¹ They say, “God has forsaken him;
   pursue him and seize him,
   for no one will rescue him.”
¹² Do not be far from me, my God;
   come quickly, God, to help me.
¹³ May my accusers perish in shame;
   may those who want to harm me
   be covered with scorn and disgrace.
 ¹⁴ As for me, I will always have hope;
   I will praise you more and more.
 ¹⁵ My mouth will tell of your righteous deeds,
   of your saving acts all day long—
   though I know not how to relate them all.
¹⁶ I will come and proclaim your mighty acts, Sovereign LORD;
   I will proclaim your righteous deeds, yours alone.
¹⁷ Since my youth, God, you have taught me,
   and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds.
¹⁸ Even when I am old and gray,
   do not forsake me, my God,
till I declare your power to the next generation,
   your mighty acts to all who are to come.
 ¹⁹ Your righteousness, God, reaches to the heavens,
   you who have done great things.
   Who is like you, God?
²⁰ Though you have made me see troubles,
   many and bitter,
   you will restore my life again;
from the depths of the earth
   you will again bring me up.
²¹ You will increase my honor
   and comfort me once more.
 ²² I will praise you with the harp
   for your faithfulness, my God;
I will sing praise to you with the lyre,
   Holy One of Israel.
²³ My lips will shout for joy
   when I sing praise to you—
   I whom you have delivered.
²⁴ My tongue will tell of your righteous acts
   all day long,
for those who wanted to harm me
   have been put to shame and confusion.

Song of Encouragement

I know I normally write a blog based on a bible verse or passage or something that has happened in my life. Today though, I was driving back to college after a weekend at home and while listening to my TobyMac cd, a song came on that just completely grabbed me. So instead of writing something, I'm posting a video of the song as well as the lyrics. Listen to it and read along. This song says exactly what I created this blog to say.

"If you could hold on
To the One that’s holding you
There is nothing that can stop this crazy love
From breaking through,"

Your Fellow Water Walker,
-Ashlee

 "Hold On"
Wake up to the morning light
Wipe away the lonely nights
Let a brand new day wash over you

Wanna see you smile again
Show some love to your crazy friends
Wipe your tears away, those days are through

If you move just a little bit closer
You can put your head on my shoulder
Yeah, yeah

So baby hold on
Just another day or two
I can see the clouds are moving faster now
And the sun is breaking through
If you could hold on
To the One that’s holding you
There is nothing that can stop this crazy love
From breaking through, we’re breaking through

Wake up to the rising sun
Thank the Lord for the things He’s done
Lift your eyes to the hope that’s ever true

Wanna see you smiling girl
You’re a light in this jaded world
Wipe away those tears
This one’s for you

And the stars are up there shining for you
Oh, how the Father does adore you
His love will never change
And you and I, we were born to follow
The hope that will lead us to tomorrow
And no one can take it away


*"Hold On" is from TobyMac's Tonight cd

Content At All Times

I feel like I have been going 90-to-nothing for the past couple of weeks, sometimes with no clear calm down time in sight. Already this semester I have stage managed a play, a dance piece, and am now acting in a scene that a friend of mine is directing for a class. If this sounds like a lot of work, trust me, there's a reason.
Despite all that work though, I have had a constant thought going through my head. I struggle day in and day out with simply being content in the life that I live. It is so easy to be swept away as part of the materialistic world that we live in. To think that we always need to move on to the next big thing. That we always need to have the world's norm in order to be accepted. But you want to know a secret? That's not the way God works. He accepts us. He LOVES us. And isn't that more than any of us could possibly ask for? What reason do we have to not be content if we have God's love?

"I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want."
-Philippians 4:12

Your Fellow Water Walker,
-Ashlee 

Willing to be Weak

Random fact about me: I'm a stage manager.
Why am I telling you this? Because as a stage manager, I want to look strong all the time. It is my job to stay in control of the production that I'm working on and maintain the safety of those around me. Looking weak doesn't exactly fit in with that job description. But you know what? Being weak isn't a bad thing.

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
-2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I read these verses today and almost started crying because they hit me so hard. Who am I to try and be strong all the time? Christ's power is made perfect in weakness. When I am weak, Christ is that much stronger. That means by always trying to be strong, we are essentially taking away His power. I'm not saying to go around being weak all the time no matter what. I am saying however that it is OK to be weak. God doesn't look at us and say "stop those tears. real men/women don't cry." He wipes away our tears. For Jesus's sake, embrace the times of weakness, the times when people criticize you, every hardship and difficulty you go through. Stop looking at the pain. Look at the LOVE that surrounds you. Jesus will always be there for you, stronger than you could ever imagine and willing to carry you through the hard times.

The poem "Footprints in the Sand" just popped into my head when writing that last paragraph. I think it illustrates perfectly the concept that is so hard to grasp about the above verses. The last lines of the poem says that when there is only one set of footprints in the sand, God is then carrying us. How easy is it for us to lose sight of that when we are going through a tough time?

My challenge for you is to embrace moments of weakness. Don't run away from them like we instinctively do.  Allow God to be your strength.

Your Fellow Water Walker,
-Ashlee